1st Real Post
I have decided to start blogging as a cure for lonliness and as an outlet for everything that enters my head but normally wouldn't have the chance to see the light of day again. I have always wanted to write, but have never been able to keep it going once I had started, regardless of the medium. I'll give the blogging thing a whirl.
At the moment I am fighting depression. As already mentioned, I find myself very lonely. Mostly because I have moved to a place, although familiar, far away from my support network. I am slowly building a new support network here with the old one still reachable by telephone or email. I do have some friends here, both trans and otherwise, but no one that I speak with on a daily basis. I'm trying to go out and do things between episodes of laying in bed crying.
One source of hurt is my job and my decision to leave Detroit behind and move to Darmstadt. Everything logistically has worked out so far and in an acceptable time frame. The German tax system is something to be feared. I had hoped by selling my house in Detroit that my company would support me 100% financially. I was reimbursed for my real estate agent's commission, of which I have to pay about 47% in taxes. So much for breaking even, which was my hope through all of this. Some reasonable companies will "Gross-up" these reimbursements so that the tax burden to their employee will be covered. What a big financial mistake I have made. I should have listened to my heart instead of my head.
I'm trying to do just that more and more. My head thinks of things so logically and trusts far too easily. My heart is more intuitive and most of the time correct. woulda, shoulda, coulda...what's done is done. So, here I sit.
I hope my family will occasionally read my blog, as some of them don't call me at all. Before I moved here I felt we were somehow becoming closer after living so far away from them for so long. Now it seems that it is even worse than before. Enough bitching.
I hope my profile picture is not too disturbing. As you can see, I have a long way to go visually. That picture was take obviously by me back in detroit in february or march of 2005. I do not feel too comfortable right now about posting pics, but I will do it anyway so I can have an archive of my visual changes. This may be helpful for my family, since I am not planning on visiting until thanksgiving or christmas.
I should probably break now and eat something, shower, and clean my apartment. bis spaeter!
At the moment I am fighting depression. As already mentioned, I find myself very lonely. Mostly because I have moved to a place, although familiar, far away from my support network. I am slowly building a new support network here with the old one still reachable by telephone or email. I do have some friends here, both trans and otherwise, but no one that I speak with on a daily basis. I'm trying to go out and do things between episodes of laying in bed crying.
One source of hurt is my job and my decision to leave Detroit behind and move to Darmstadt. Everything logistically has worked out so far and in an acceptable time frame. The German tax system is something to be feared. I had hoped by selling my house in Detroit that my company would support me 100% financially. I was reimbursed for my real estate agent's commission, of which I have to pay about 47% in taxes. So much for breaking even, which was my hope through all of this. Some reasonable companies will "Gross-up" these reimbursements so that the tax burden to their employee will be covered. What a big financial mistake I have made. I should have listened to my heart instead of my head.
I'm trying to do just that more and more. My head thinks of things so logically and trusts far too easily. My heart is more intuitive and most of the time correct. woulda, shoulda, coulda...what's done is done. So, here I sit.
I hope my family will occasionally read my blog, as some of them don't call me at all. Before I moved here I felt we were somehow becoming closer after living so far away from them for so long. Now it seems that it is even worse than before. Enough bitching.
I hope my profile picture is not too disturbing. As you can see, I have a long way to go visually. That picture was take obviously by me back in detroit in february or march of 2005. I do not feel too comfortable right now about posting pics, but I will do it anyway so I can have an archive of my visual changes. This may be helpful for my family, since I am not planning on visiting until thanksgiving or christmas.
I should probably break now and eat something, shower, and clean my apartment. bis spaeter!
posted by Christine Cormier @ 2:48 PM
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