Chrissy's river of action

My Blog is an outlet for my thoughts and feelings that would otherwise remain unexpressed.

Friday, March 27, 2009

body single

I have been sewing clothing for myself continuously since just before I went into hospital for surgery. I am proud of my stamina. I think partly my improved body image has something to do with it. I have cut back on practicing aïkido since I started again after recovering from surgery. I am practicing regularly on Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays. I have been wanting to go on Wednesdays and Sundays as well, but I usually work late on Wednesdays and Sundays I am just plain too lazy to go out of the apartment. Lazy isn’t quite correct, well maybe. I am usually working on a garment and I like to take a catnap in the afternoon to get some extra rest in between. It seems that practicing three days a week corresponds to my exercise needs relative to my nutritional intake. I love aïkido. I am so thankful to my gf for introducing me to it. Domo arigato baba. My body has continually changed since taking hormones, and to think of it, I started taking them back in March of 2005. I have been on them for four years now, and next week will be my third anniversary of my coming out to my work colleagues, and subsequently my step into living fulltime. Yay for milestones. I am 99 percent satisfied and happy with my decision to transition.

There are some negative things that were expected to happen that have come to pass. One example that I can think of difficulty finding a job. I have been on five or six interviews in the Netherlands that turned out that I was either offered a ridiculously low salary, or told that my qualifications didn’t match their needs. I will continue looking, but I am slowly starting to think that I have to expand my search beyond just the Netherlands. I think that my qualifications are just fine, and I usually told so in the actual interview, but when it comes down to it, I suspect that if there are two candidates and one is me that they will choose the other simply because I am likely seen as a liability. “How can we put this person in front of a customer?” rings in my ears. I will keep looking though.

My bottom has become bigger and rounder and I actually have a good set of hips going on, and in combination with my 31 inch waist, I have a slim build with some nice curves now. I can’t hardly imagine now that I used to have a 34 inch waist. I have lost quite a bit of muscle mass in my arms, but the rest has not changed so much. I have an almost flat abdomen with softly defined abs. I am not sure if I just had low expectations for my physical changes, but my body looks better than I ever expected it could. I am fortunate that my metabolism, if it hasn’t changed at all, has become faster. My weight is still hovering between 155 and 160 pounds, depending where I am on my cycle.

I have been making lots of skirts and blouses to go with them. I have made five skirts and four blouses so far. I am currently working on a pink duchesse high waisted pencil skirt, the blouse is already finished but I am having trouble with motivation to finish the skirt. I really enjoy wearing the little outfits I have made for myself. I am building quite a collection of pumps. Shoe addiction is a terrible affliction on my wallet. High femme suits me just fine. If I could or had to dress in finer clothing all the time I wouldn’t have any problem with it. My feet might beg to differ, but as long as I have it, I am going to get as much mileage out my body as I can. I have waited most of my life thus far to be able to be exactly the person I am now, in body and mind. When I think back on all the things that I used to sew for myself that never fit right, my taste has not changed in clothing. My sewing skills have become almost professional level I think. I am continually improving my skills through practice. I getting a better feel for finer fabrics, some are quite difficult indeed.

Even though I haven’t been posting much at all, I have been writing all along and just saving the posts in a folder. Some of what I have been writing is meant just for me, but the mass would need to be sorted and sanitized if I were to post it retrospectively. I am not sure I have time to do it. I am hungry now so I am going to cook something.

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