throw back

gotta get back to posting. it has been too long. these thoughts have for some time now been bouncing around inside my cranium. it's time to let them flow again. my mind and body have gone through some radical changes in the last couple of years. i rarely go back and read what i wrote several years ago. my life is thankfully much different now and i am relatively happy, despite the world falling apart all around us. i have successfully changed my blind consumption into aware consumption. i make an effort to eliminate all chemicals from my nutritional intake, and also limit my medication intake to only the hormones. i don't even take aspirin anymore, unless it is something seriously painful.

i don't watch tv here in germany so i don't know if it is the same, but i was disturbed by the prescription drug adverts in the states because of their somtimes graphic nature and the high frequency of airtime. for some of my family the television is as it was explained to me, background noise. tv wasn't forced on me when i was there, but two huge widescreens running all the time certainly gets and holds your attention easily. the nun kept having to draw my attention away from it. i became aware of it's power. and it becomes super disturbing to me to be bombarded with incessant adverts for medications. on my visit this particular theme took on a whole new dimension that needs to be reckoned with.

my theory about the onslaught of cancer is that the decisions that were made, i'm not sure when, to start putting certain additives in our food to benfit our health are actually partially what is killing us. the industrial farming and it's processed foods, the medications for every ailment, literally; are what is killing us. it was difiicult to find just plain bottled water in the fridge, since it was filled with cans of soda and modified water to make it better of course. why drink plain water when u can get a burst of energy with modified water. i purposely didn't punctuate that sentence with a question mark. air fresheners were another problem that i had. it disturbed me to be continually dosed with some sort of air sanitizer. the dispensers were in almost every living space. by the way my beer was in the fridge just to be fair. but seriously, it seems clear to me now that i can probably reduce my risk of cancer by eliminating chemicals as much as possible from my environment and diet. i need to quit smoking too. i understand that every drag is a many pages list of chemicals. i need desperately to stop it. it is an insidious addiction.

it seems so normal to me now to question, or at least think about and be aware, of what i buy. i like it when i can see something telling where a product was produced. partly based on the location, i make a decision on whether or not to buy it. it is disturbing to think about where things come from these days and i think most choose not to recognize it. it is a lot easier that way. i have decided to try to save myself from a manufactured death. you can decide for yourself. i have made my decision, and to me there isn't any other way.