Broads

I am driven to write something about all the women that I have had relationships with, as part of my soul cleansing process.  I hope that the scraps of bitterness that I feel towards them all will be washed away by documenting my feelings about the breakups from my perspective.  My biased perspective is important to me because anytime that I tried to refute their claims I was met with reasons that were ultimately all my fault and riddled with guilt.  I have my own perspective which I would like to finally get out in the open.  I probably won’t write about my ex just yet, as I still need something from her.  That sounds very self centered, but I don’t care.  I will start a series in the next couple of days about them all.  The list is as follows:

Kathy
Cindy
Sophia
Donna
Yolanda
Elizabeth
KPo

I realize that the list isn’t very long, but I am kind of loser as a man, when it comes to dating women.  My only hope is that I have better luck with relationships as a woman.  Although, I am relatively happy living a celibate lifestyle.  It’s so much easier.  In the last year and a half or so of my marriage, I was basically celibate anyway.  I haven’t had sex with another in two and a half years.  And you know what? I don’t really care.  My penis only brought me trouble in the past and I will be glad when it is finally gone.  I’m glad I don’t have any libido anymore.  I only wish that had been the case in the last years of my marriage.  Did I just say that?  I think I did.  I have wasted many years trying to be someone that I am not, and the pain that brought still hurts.  I hope this measure will help alleviate some of it.  For all of you that dumped me for whatever reason, I think the knowledge of me being transsexual will probably sting a bit.  Kind of like when a guy dates a girl, and later she becomes a lesbian.  This is almost always perceived as the man wasn’t good enough and therefore “turned” her into a lesbian.

I don’t know why this is all coming out today, but I guess it must sometime, and there is no time like the present.  I will probably regret some of this…