Dangerous curves ahead
I’m being a bad seamstress. I am blogging instead of sewing the fleece top experiment. I am driven to document my self observations of the physical kind which have an influence on the mental. Positive in effect of course. I think I am going to take a DNB break to shake my tooshie off. Pardon me…aaaahhhhhhh. I am winded now. I am listening to some British drum and bass, a song called Droids. It’s really sinister and dark; it makes me feel like robots are after me…enough of that insanity.
I was inspecting my face to see what hair growth the past 24 hours has brought. In the two weeks since I had my first ELOS treatment, it seems the growth has become lighter, and in some areas there is nothing. I am understandably happy about this and I hope it lasts. My past experience tells me that at about the fourth week it will all come back again. We shall see. I am happy at least with what is happening now. My skin feels so soft too.
As I posted the other day, I bought my first real bra. I say real because all the ones I had bought in the past were a C cup for my prosthetic boobs. This one is special, as it fits “me”, or at least what little I have to fill it. I assume what I am about to say next is normal, but my left one is bigger than the right. The left actually fills the padded A cup, and the right has a little ways to go. I wasn’t sure if I had even enough for an A cup, and that I might be jumping the gun. I will no doubt end up loathing wearing a bra just like any other woman, sort of like when I wanted to learn to shave my face and regretted it after having to shave every day thereafter. That little reminder will be gone hopefully soon. I decided I am going to get used to wearing a bra. Womanhood requires quite a bit more work, and I am borderline high maintenance already. Good thing I can afford to spoil myself sometimes. I like being an independent woman.
My problem now is I need clothes for work, men’s clothes, because I don’t really have much in the way of winter tops that are baggy enough to hide my chest. I am reluctant to spend the money on more men’s clothes, but what I have is not enough to carry me through till I won’t need them anymore. I feel like it’s a big waste of money, but I must stay hidden for at lest a few more months. The next few months are going to quite difficult. I need to start investing in my female wardrobe. Just a few more months…
I am so far very happy with my physical development. Some days I feel like I look absolutely horrible, but today is one of the good days. My waist is becoming more defined and my chub diminished. My butt is becoming bigger and I actually have some hip going on. My unisex Levis are starting to fit differently, really loose in fact in the waist band, but tighter in the bum and thighs. My figure is starting to get some definition to it and I like it. I am finally getting the body I have always longed for. This makes me feel really good inside.
Shopping with Linda and Chloe on Saturday really helped too. I like shopping, and friends, and sidewalk cafes, and buying new shoes. Seeing fashionable people, and thinking to myself, why can’t I look like that? The fact is I can. I just have to get motivated to make stuff.
O.K. here’s me getting psyched up to sew…
The designs you drew last night aren’t shit, they just need “work”
You finally have a shape that doesn’t require removing all flattering lines from patterns
Everything you make from here on out will fit (yeah, right)
You’ll smoke less
You will make genetic females jealous because you have better fashion sense and look good in it too
I think that’s enough convincing. I noticed today at work this woman staring at me from time to time during a meeting. She is probably at least ten years younger than me, cute, but almost no fashion sense. I have come to notice that every German woman it seems has at least one pair of black oxford loafers with a silver buckle or monk strap. These shoes should be banned. They should never have made a woman’s version. It is a staple for some German women however unflattering they may be. I wish I could give her a makeover. She could be so much cuter and look more professional. I couldn’t figure out why I kept catching her looking at me. I didn’t say two words throughout the whole meeting. I’m not even sure why I was invited. Anyway, then I became paranoid that people were noticing my puny boobs. I chocked it up to people focusing on the silk screened design on my shirt. But she was always staring at my face. I think she might have noticed that I went a little too far deforesting my brows. Whatever the case, it made me feel a little uneasy.
I can’t wait till we get our new work ID cards with a new picture. I hope they don’t use the same damned one as this last time. The picture was taken about February 2004, and with almost two years of hair growth and hormones, I don’t really look like the picture anymore. I hate that picture and I want a new one. We have new business cards and office signs, but still the same ID’s.
Making it to living full time and beyond today seems like an attainable goal. I am on my way…I want to thank everyone who cares for me and supports me. I would not be where I am now without you all!! Dankeschön!!!!
Love, *Chrissy*
I was inspecting my face to see what hair growth the past 24 hours has brought. In the two weeks since I had my first ELOS treatment, it seems the growth has become lighter, and in some areas there is nothing. I am understandably happy about this and I hope it lasts. My past experience tells me that at about the fourth week it will all come back again. We shall see. I am happy at least with what is happening now. My skin feels so soft too.
As I posted the other day, I bought my first real bra. I say real because all the ones I had bought in the past were a C cup for my prosthetic boobs. This one is special, as it fits “me”, or at least what little I have to fill it. I assume what I am about to say next is normal, but my left one is bigger than the right. The left actually fills the padded A cup, and the right has a little ways to go. I wasn’t sure if I had even enough for an A cup, and that I might be jumping the gun. I will no doubt end up loathing wearing a bra just like any other woman, sort of like when I wanted to learn to shave my face and regretted it after having to shave every day thereafter. That little reminder will be gone hopefully soon. I decided I am going to get used to wearing a bra. Womanhood requires quite a bit more work, and I am borderline high maintenance already. Good thing I can afford to spoil myself sometimes. I like being an independent woman.
My problem now is I need clothes for work, men’s clothes, because I don’t really have much in the way of winter tops that are baggy enough to hide my chest. I am reluctant to spend the money on more men’s clothes, but what I have is not enough to carry me through till I won’t need them anymore. I feel like it’s a big waste of money, but I must stay hidden for at lest a few more months. The next few months are going to quite difficult. I need to start investing in my female wardrobe. Just a few more months…
I am so far very happy with my physical development. Some days I feel like I look absolutely horrible, but today is one of the good days. My waist is becoming more defined and my chub diminished. My butt is becoming bigger and I actually have some hip going on. My unisex Levis are starting to fit differently, really loose in fact in the waist band, but tighter in the bum and thighs. My figure is starting to get some definition to it and I like it. I am finally getting the body I have always longed for. This makes me feel really good inside.
Shopping with Linda and Chloe on Saturday really helped too. I like shopping, and friends, and sidewalk cafes, and buying new shoes. Seeing fashionable people, and thinking to myself, why can’t I look like that? The fact is I can. I just have to get motivated to make stuff.
O.K. here’s me getting psyched up to sew…
The designs you drew last night aren’t shit, they just need “work”
You finally have a shape that doesn’t require removing all flattering lines from patterns
Everything you make from here on out will fit (yeah, right)
You’ll smoke less
You will make genetic females jealous because you have better fashion sense and look good in it too
I think that’s enough convincing. I noticed today at work this woman staring at me from time to time during a meeting. She is probably at least ten years younger than me, cute, but almost no fashion sense. I have come to notice that every German woman it seems has at least one pair of black oxford loafers with a silver buckle or monk strap. These shoes should be banned. They should never have made a woman’s version. It is a staple for some German women however unflattering they may be. I wish I could give her a makeover. She could be so much cuter and look more professional. I couldn’t figure out why I kept catching her looking at me. I didn’t say two words throughout the whole meeting. I’m not even sure why I was invited. Anyway, then I became paranoid that people were noticing my puny boobs. I chocked it up to people focusing on the silk screened design on my shirt. But she was always staring at my face. I think she might have noticed that I went a little too far deforesting my brows. Whatever the case, it made me feel a little uneasy.
I can’t wait till we get our new work ID cards with a new picture. I hope they don’t use the same damned one as this last time. The picture was taken about February 2004, and with almost two years of hair growth and hormones, I don’t really look like the picture anymore. I hate that picture and I want a new one. We have new business cards and office signs, but still the same ID’s.
Making it to living full time and beyond today seems like an attainable goal. I am on my way…I want to thank everyone who cares for me and supports me. I would not be where I am now without you all!! Dankeschön!!!!
Love, *Chrissy*
posted by Christine Cormier @ 9:42 PM
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