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I wrote this little ditty the day I got back home from the states, the 29th of December.  I was severely jet-lagged when I wrote it…

Calculated steps to experience the unexpected moments.  This is the thought that I came up with while pondering my trip back home(s).  I write it as home(s) because I have lived now for ten years away from my original home.  Oddly comforting enough, I slept in my childhood bedroom at my mom’s house.  Calling it ma’s house is new for me, while for so long it was called dad’s house after they were divorced.  To have that perspective again on the world, from the place that I had lived for the first eighteen years of my life, only served to compound several issues to their breaking point.  The weird stripe-y three walls and the one drummer-boy wall, and the blue carpet that made a weird noise as one would walk on it are gone.  I have lived for half of my life so far away from there.  I don’t feel much of a connection with my hometown anymore, aside from the whole family living there.  I know all the streets and things still look very familiar, but somehow it doesn’t feel the same.

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of traveling across continents and oceans.  Since my last post I feel I have learned a great deal about myself, who I am, and who I am becoming.  I asserted myself to my sisters and my mother.  It was almost if they were meeting someone new for the first time.  I look a bit different of course with slight personality enhancements, but I am in many ways still the same as I have always been.