TAG-01

I began my stay in the hospital today. The first day for a planned operation is really boring. They just poke about your person and stick various needles in your flesh. I am again in a room with three other women. I tried to reserve a double room ahead of time, but they are so full that I am not able to get into a double right away. Somehow I doubt I will be here long enough until a double opens up. I am with two younger and one older woman. One of the younger ones has been puking all day long, and bitching about the docs constantly. She has finally fallen asleep and I hope she stays that way all night. I am trying to pass the time by chatting on skype with the nun0. I have internet access this time, so I am hoping to be able to blog as much as possible to make this ordeal go by as quickly as possible. I went through hell last time I was here, so I know what to expect and I hope with this knowledge it will be a bit easier this time. Internet access is free, but I have to go to the front desk every 24 hours to renew it. After surgery I am not sure how long it will take before I am on my feet again, so I may have to wait until Saturday to surface again online.

So on to nuts and bolts…if you don’t want to read the gory details, this is your last chance to tune out.

Some surgeons prefer a one step surgery, and others prefer to perform a two step procedure. Obviously in the one step procedure they re-arrange everything on one shot. With the two step, the first is more or less to “rough it in” which means to re-arrange the pieces leaving as much tissue as possible as reserve should complications occur. The second step is usually optional, often performed like in my case to make the neo-vagina look more aesthetically correct. I will be having a mons pubis plastic, labia majora reduction, and possibly having the urethra shortened. The mons pubis plastic will create the “venus mound” and also provide the clitoral hood to protect the ever so sensitive clitoris. As it is now my labia just form two vertical ridges of flesh without coming together at all above the clitoris. The labia majora are long enough to cover it most of the time, but they are long enough to make it look like I have given birth to four or five children. Hence the labia mjora reduction procedure. The labia minora and majora are formed using the scrotal tissue, since it is relatively the same as labial tissue. They leave them extra long to facilitate skin grafting should some of the vaginal tissue die off post operative. I was lucky to have no problems with healing. The shortening of the urethra will be decided during the surgery tomorrow morning. If it was a purely aesthetic problem, I would leave it as it is, but if it grows more I stand the chance of it peeking out of my shortened labia and therefore rubbing on my panties. And also when I am sexually aroused the tissue around it swells quite a bit and it looks like the stump of my penis coming out. It was a bit disturbing at first, but I am used to it now, after all it is a part of me. If I was with a male partner they would probably find it really disturbing, but otherwise since I don’t produce mucous there, there really is no other physical indication that I am aroused. That was really the only advantageous part of having it in the first place.

I was reading in my charts today the text description of my first surgery. The surgeon wrote that the bulb of spongiosum tissue at the base of my former member formerly known as my penis was abnormally large. They also found that my prostate is abnormally small. Funny my body is.

So now, a year later almost to the day, I am back here in the Markus Krankenhaus in Frankfurt-Ginnheim. Tomorrow’s surgery should be a cake walk compared to the first surgery. Having to stay immobile for five days really drove me nuts. Plus I was having withdrawals from nicotine and they wouldn’t administer my hormones either. I was really fucked at one point. I feel kind of bad about being such a baby last time. I am hoping things will go much better, since I am better prepared. Although I have no one here to help me this time, nun0 really held me together last time, I have lots of things to keep me occupied. I have lots of films on my laptop, lots of magazines, a couple of books, and sketching materials for designing some outfits. I was hoping to have internet access so that I can copy some pics from various pattern websites and make design boards with paint shop. I also have my external HD with me so that I can try to start sorting and editing my many scribblings that never made it on my blog. I have written so much that I have just kept for myself. Its time they see the light of day. I think I will have a chamomile tea and start watching a movie.