dissed
I got totally dissed at work yesterday. My company was hosting an open house for our customers and launched many new products over the past two days. One of the products was the machine I was the lead mechanical engineer on, and the original concept was mine. If one were to have read my posts from the last year and a half or so, you would know just how much of me that I lost fighting my way through that project. Yesterday was the german speaking day and they planned the unveiling of the machine at 4.30p. My entire former department was there, I invited myself since no one else did. The group manager that I had so many problems with in the last part of the project gave a speech about the new machine, and at the end of his drivel he thanked the team members by name. He mentioned everyone except me. That was a total diss! Some of my colleagues turned and looked at me with a questioning look on their faces. I started to get pissed so I left and went for a smoke. Helmi was trying to calm me down. He even mentioned the temp that is a total kiss ass and a terrible engineer. The costs in the end are less than the market leader’s. I would say that is an accomplishment that I share a large part of the credit for, and I wasn’t even acknowledged.
I spoke with my boss afterwards about what just happened. he told me that the gm. that just fucked me over ruined my name with upper management. He told them that I blocked all attempts to save costs in my design. He told them that I couldn’t make deadlines. He said I am not capable of managing a project on my own. He played judge and jury over one small portion of my 12 year career. I have no choice now but to leave. I am getting totally fucked, with sand mixed in. I gave up a lot of my free time to make that machine happen and to have it ready for the open house. I want badly to make an appointment with the president to present my side of the story. It won’t do any good though, so I’m not even going to bother.
I prepared and gave a presentation to VW in kassel on Wednesday. I stayed up until 12.30 the night before to put the presentation together. I had made snapshots of the machines to put on the slides before I left work. I got all of it organized and the pictures placed. It ended up being 27 slides long. I planned my hair washing f0or the day before so I could save some time that morning. I woke up looking all pasty with little bags under my eyes, blah. I got ready fairly quickly, in under an hour. I wore my favorite H&M skirt suit with a lavender blouse. I left with time to spare because I had to carry a beamer, a laptop, and the project binder. The laptop and binder weighed a ton. I was lucky I was on the platform having a smoke and a coffee before boarding because the conductor had the train leave five minutes EARLY! I’m usually the type of person that has to run to catch her trains. If I would have been a few minutes later and still on time, I would have missed that train through no fault of my own. I made the ICE in Ffm and searched for the project manager. He was sitting in the car where I had my seat reserved. I sat at a table and worked on my presentation the whole ride. It was exactly enough time. I was glad that there was a long cab ride to the facility. The facility smells like gear lube oil inside. Most of their xmissions are manufactured in kassel.
We were joined by the R&D department manager for most of the day. The presentation went fairly smoothly, and I was able to answer most of their questions. They asked for an electronic copy of the presentation, which I gladly gave them. My project manager told me beforehand that the presentation would be a stress session because the customer wasn’t convinced that one of the machines will work. I assume that their concern was expressed to the dept manager and that’s why he took part in the presentation, to make his mind up for himself. He asked a few questions and that was it. Either my PM was exaggerating or I was able to convince them that it will work. I felt good that it went so smoothly. I am getting really good at putting together presentations in short order. Pictures help a lot. People like colorful things. The pm gave me complements to my boss for my being well prepared and convincing before the customer. I was complemented one minute and kicked in the teeth the next.
I did get to see K from the UK yesterday though. He stuck his head up over the partition at my desk and said my name . I turned to see who it was and he instantly brought a smile to my face. I miss him. We worked together the first summer I spent here in DA. We went out and drank many a beer together that summer. I only get to see him every so often, so it is always a treat. He and his new bride invited me to come to the UK before I transitioned on the job. I wasn’t sure if the offer still stood, but he was one of the few who wrote me after reading the letter that I sent to all of my English speaking colleagues. He was standing by my side at the launch when I got dissed. I saw him on my way home and we chatted for about a half hour outside the canteen where apparently there was a buffet for all those who were involved with the two days of events. H came down the steps and saw me talking to K, so she came over. She told me that the asshole realized as soon as his speech was over that he had forgotten to mention my name, and that he felt embarrassed and would apologize to me today. I didn’t get an apology today. A few people told me that they told him that they didn’t think it was right that he didn’t say my name too.
It was good at leas to see K again. This was the first time he has seen me live since I made the switch. He asked me again when I was coming to visit. I told him that I had thought about coming to visit, but I wasn’t sure if the offer still stood. He told me that he wasn’t sure either, and that he wanted to see me in person again before making the offer again. At least he was honest. He commented that he found me to be more outgoing and generally happier than in the past. That made me feel good. He said the ideal time would be to come in August. I clicked with his wife when I met her in the states. We sat on the couch at her sister’s house and talked for a while. She’s cool, and he’s cool too. I definitely want to plan a trip there in August.
I bought some new sneaks online through ebay. I scored some really fly pink and white adidas gazelles. I always wanted to get a pair back in the late 80’s when I was into hip hop. Most of the white hip hoppers preferred the red or the blue ones. It took 20 years (that’s scary that I can say that) but I will finally get my gazelles. I also bought a pair of chocolate brown suede retro adidas track sneakers. I have a black suede pair of them already. Adidas is about the only producer that makes a women’s size over 41. Their 42 2/3 size fits me perfect. I only had two pairs of sneakers, with both being black and white.
I went to see my endo on Monday morning. I asked him if there was anything he could do hormonally to foster more breast growth. He suggested that I apply an estrogen gel once a day in addition to my regular shots. He told me that my estrogen level after one month on a higher dose was 274. Beforehand it was only 41. I experienced a growth spurt that was prompted by the higher dose, but it didn’t continue for very long. I am anxious to see if the gel will help also with my moodiness. My moodiness has been mostly caused by all the shit that I have been dealing with lately. I am getting so fed up with everything. I feel like fighting instead of flying these days.
I spoke with my boss afterwards about what just happened. he told me that the gm. that just fucked me over ruined my name with upper management. He told them that I blocked all attempts to save costs in my design. He told them that I couldn’t make deadlines. He said I am not capable of managing a project on my own. He played judge and jury over one small portion of my 12 year career. I have no choice now but to leave. I am getting totally fucked, with sand mixed in. I gave up a lot of my free time to make that machine happen and to have it ready for the open house. I want badly to make an appointment with the president to present my side of the story. It won’t do any good though, so I’m not even going to bother.
I prepared and gave a presentation to VW in kassel on Wednesday. I stayed up until 12.30 the night before to put the presentation together. I had made snapshots of the machines to put on the slides before I left work. I got all of it organized and the pictures placed. It ended up being 27 slides long. I planned my hair washing f0or the day before so I could save some time that morning. I woke up looking all pasty with little bags under my eyes, blah. I got ready fairly quickly, in under an hour. I wore my favorite H&M skirt suit with a lavender blouse. I left with time to spare because I had to carry a beamer, a laptop, and the project binder. The laptop and binder weighed a ton. I was lucky I was on the platform having a smoke and a coffee before boarding because the conductor had the train leave five minutes EARLY! I’m usually the type of person that has to run to catch her trains. If I would have been a few minutes later and still on time, I would have missed that train through no fault of my own. I made the ICE in Ffm and searched for the project manager. He was sitting in the car where I had my seat reserved. I sat at a table and worked on my presentation the whole ride. It was exactly enough time. I was glad that there was a long cab ride to the facility. The facility smells like gear lube oil inside. Most of their xmissions are manufactured in kassel.
We were joined by the R&D department manager for most of the day. The presentation went fairly smoothly, and I was able to answer most of their questions. They asked for an electronic copy of the presentation, which I gladly gave them. My project manager told me beforehand that the presentation would be a stress session because the customer wasn’t convinced that one of the machines will work. I assume that their concern was expressed to the dept manager and that’s why he took part in the presentation, to make his mind up for himself. He asked a few questions and that was it. Either my PM was exaggerating or I was able to convince them that it will work. I felt good that it went so smoothly. I am getting really good at putting together presentations in short order. Pictures help a lot. People like colorful things. The pm gave me complements to my boss for my being well prepared and convincing before the customer. I was complemented one minute and kicked in the teeth the next.
I did get to see K from the UK yesterday though. He stuck his head up over the partition at my desk and said my name . I turned to see who it was and he instantly brought a smile to my face. I miss him. We worked together the first summer I spent here in DA. We went out and drank many a beer together that summer. I only get to see him every so often, so it is always a treat. He and his new bride invited me to come to the UK before I transitioned on the job. I wasn’t sure if the offer still stood, but he was one of the few who wrote me after reading the letter that I sent to all of my English speaking colleagues. He was standing by my side at the launch when I got dissed. I saw him on my way home and we chatted for about a half hour outside the canteen where apparently there was a buffet for all those who were involved with the two days of events. H came down the steps and saw me talking to K, so she came over. She told me that the asshole realized as soon as his speech was over that he had forgotten to mention my name, and that he felt embarrassed and would apologize to me today. I didn’t get an apology today. A few people told me that they told him that they didn’t think it was right that he didn’t say my name too.
It was good at leas to see K again. This was the first time he has seen me live since I made the switch. He asked me again when I was coming to visit. I told him that I had thought about coming to visit, but I wasn’t sure if the offer still stood. He told me that he wasn’t sure either, and that he wanted to see me in person again before making the offer again. At least he was honest. He commented that he found me to be more outgoing and generally happier than in the past. That made me feel good. He said the ideal time would be to come in August. I clicked with his wife when I met her in the states. We sat on the couch at her sister’s house and talked for a while. She’s cool, and he’s cool too. I definitely want to plan a trip there in August.
I bought some new sneaks online through ebay. I scored some really fly pink and white adidas gazelles. I always wanted to get a pair back in the late 80’s when I was into hip hop. Most of the white hip hoppers preferred the red or the blue ones. It took 20 years (that’s scary that I can say that) but I will finally get my gazelles. I also bought a pair of chocolate brown suede retro adidas track sneakers. I have a black suede pair of them already. Adidas is about the only producer that makes a women’s size over 41. Their 42 2/3 size fits me perfect. I only had two pairs of sneakers, with both being black and white.
I went to see my endo on Monday morning. I asked him if there was anything he could do hormonally to foster more breast growth. He suggested that I apply an estrogen gel once a day in addition to my regular shots. He told me that my estrogen level after one month on a higher dose was 274. Beforehand it was only 41. I experienced a growth spurt that was prompted by the higher dose, but it didn’t continue for very long. I am anxious to see if the gel will help also with my moodiness. My moodiness has been mostly caused by all the shit that I have been dealing with lately. I am getting so fed up with everything. I feel like fighting instead of flying these days.
posted by Christine Cormier @ 9:40 PM
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