i feel so

blah tonight. My throat has been bothering me for two weeks now. I thought it was gone, but it is still here. I’m sure it is the stress from work manifesting itself as illness. The blame game was started today over the vw project and how it went down the tubes. Engineering is always to blame because we actually produce something other than paper and we have a budget and schedule to try to stick to. I have been working on two projects that were always way behind schedule because both had unrealistic delivery times. Work sucks when you are always trying to get something finished that is already late. It has been almost a year since I started working constant overtime. I did have a break over Christmas that allowed me the time to regenerate and to catch a glimpse of how well I can feel. Within six weeks I had a sinus infection. I have been off and on sick for months.

When I wake in the morning my throat feels sore. My tonsils get sore and it becomes hard to swallow. I am assuming at this point that they will be removed soon. I am wondering if they could have been causing the sinus problems. I went last week to have them looked at and the doc did a throat culture to check for strep throat. The culture was negative. I read online that tonsillitis should go away on it’s own in two weeks if it isn’t from strep. I hope it goes away soon. I spoke with my boss about my sickness and told him that I have denied many times my doc’s offers to write me off sick. I told him that when everything is ordered for vw I will take a week sick and a week of free time compensation. He agreed and also told me that he and the next boss were talking about how I have been working overtime for many months and it shouldn’t be. But it is.

I am also wondering if I am seriously ill and I just don’t know it yet. I suppose I will find out. I have an appointment with my doc for this Thursday. I go for shots tomorrow. It will be a long day.

I am happy that I am in love with someone special. We comfort each other which feels nice. I hope that we can be together again soon. I hope that I will have two weeks off really soon. I would like to spend some days sleeping and sewing in between. Just to know I don’t have to think about work at all. And only think of snaring me a crocodile.