wetwesterwerk

I’m on my way back from dutchyland once again. I did another one nighter with the nuNO1. the first time was when we first started seeing each other last july. that time we went to a queer pirate party in scheveningen. this time was in osnabruck. an old friend of the nUNo1 invited her to come and play at an autonomous space where they had techno dj’s and a room with punk too. the djs played old school techno that reminded me of the raves in detroit ten years ago. I noticed that my tolerance for throbbing bass is not so good anymore. maybe it was because I wasn’t dancing? dunno. anyway, I had a goed time with my girlfriend. she drove the banana van and I took several sucky trains, with the last hour being the worst.

I’m listening to the dead kennedys since I am wearing my tough boots, I figure I should live the part. I haven’t showered today, and last night I slept a few hours in the van outside the venue. After she and UlI picked me up from the bahnhof, we had to set up the screens and the beamer at the venue. the screen proved to be not such a problem, but we needed a beamer hanging board since there was no place to set it on to get the projection size to fit. we got everything set up and then went to get something to eat at osna donner. we had pizza and HoLg had a donner teller that looked very delicious and quite large. the guys running the place were both relatively dark skinned with long jet black hair. they looked really suave like the guy at haso.

we had to pick a cable after dinner and then went back to the venue to start playing. By 12.30 the place really started to fill up. It seemed as though there were a lot of relatively young people there, or maybe I’m just getting old. it was fun just the same. her friends were really cool and fun. They really know how to throw a party. we had all the stuff we could drink given to us, but I only had a half a beck’s. I think I went to bed at 2 and then the vidnone joined me an hour or so later. I was warm enough and slept very well for the time that I managed to get in. She drove for a while at first and then I drove us into hamsterdam. I kinda messed up with the driving and we had to switch right quick before a tram tried to ram us. we had some time before she had to start work, so we went to DeBalie for a coffee and a chat.

The NunO1 went to work and I went to centraal station to buy my ticket to get home tonight. I caught a tram to the station that was full of french guys, or at least that is the way it seemed. I got there and the number I drew was up next and it took no time at all to get the ticket. I got a coffee and a cinnamon bun and headed for the tram back to leidseplein. I tried to get on the tram with the coffee in my hand and the conductor just about had a conniption fit and told me to get off. I finished it while the rest of the people boarded, and then got on. I ate the cinnamon bun on the walk over to paradise where my baba was.

she finished her set up and then we went to fuel up and bring the van back to its favorite parking space at the noorderdok. we put some fuel in at the filling station owned and run by women. they always have their fuel a few cents lower than other stations. we got back to the parking spot just as the ferry was about to shove off. We cleaned up a bit and kissed some while we waited for the next one. We took a tram to the damned together and we said ciao in the foyer of her building. It was too bad we didn’t have more time together. I went up to her place and made myself some old cheese eggs, saatenbrot toast, and some coffee. I am addicted to saatenbrot. I left her a short note since I couldn’t send an sms since I forgot my phone at home. I was a bit lonely there because there didn’t seem to be any one else home. no emos. jade was laying in a puddle of her own urine in the hall. I wondered where her mother was. It wasn’t jade’s fault, a dog can only hold it for so long before it has to go. her mother should pay better attention to her.

I had a smoke and then it was time to catch a tram to centraal station. I made it there in time to get a bottle of water and chocomel. I almost went for another coffee, but opted to have a quick smoke and get a coffee once on the train. My reserved seat was the very first seat in the cockpit directly behind the driver. the whole first car was almost totally empty, so I decided to sit a table since my original seat was in wagen 21 seat 11. too many unlucky numbers for me to chance. So here I sit writing about my weekend drinking my chocomel and thinking about my baba. I miss her already.

our dynamic works very well most of the time and therefore we are able to work together quite well. we are able to really make anything work when we are in tune with each other. sometimes we’re not so in tune, but that is to be expected I suppose. things can’t go perfect all the time, that would be too idealistic to expect. it seems as though even through our problems our love for each other continues to evolve and become stronger, and therefore we become ever more attached. she inspires me to want to take chances and not live such a safe life. I have always been able to think for myself, but sometimes I had a difficult time setting the thought into motion.

this past week I have been trying to find time to write a list of all the things I need to get taken care of, but I still haven’t managed to get to writing it. I wanted also to bake some biscotti this weekend, but since I went to meet my kRoc I will have to postpone the activity until some night this week. Now that I have interest in cooking there are lots of things I want to try my hand at making myself. I can’t wait until I can start eating potatoes again. I often don’t even think about potatoes anymore since I haven’t been eating them. I found out the nice hot shrimp soup from the chinese grocery has lots of MSG in it. not nice like. I think I will try to make my own noodles and spice them with miso paste and ground red chili peppers. I should try to find a recipe for my favorite super spicy thai coconut soup. Usually I have it with chicken when I eat it out, but I could make it with tofu I suppose.

I have been trying lately to show my strength as a woman, especially with the love of my life. I have to change my tendency toward submissiveness, as it is not possible for me to agree with everything she says, and when I don’t then I need to say so. I am working on it. She thinks that she can push cherrini around, but she aint so tough, and I think sometimes I am tougher than her. I am tough.