happy mayday

I began my sleepathon on Saturday night at Linda’s.  I fell asleep while visiting with her and Chloe.  I couldn’t keep my eyes open.   I woke up at ten yesterday and blogged and wasted some time writing an email.  I went back to bed at 1 and got up at 4.  I took a shower.  I planned to go get my bike from the bahnhof, but in the end I decided to eat and go to bed.  I’m up early today, I feel finally caught up on the rest.  I thought I was depressed, but I realize it is just what someone else is putting on me.

Even though I know none of it is true, it makes me angry and I think about it constantly in my head. Eventually I start to believe it is true and that makes me sad.  Then I realize it is just her, she has struck again.  I didn’t see this one coming.  Things had been silent for a couple of months.  I try not to let her in anymore, but it still happens.  I am getting better at controlling it, or rather identifying it.  Controlling it will come in time.  I don’t need these useless negative episodes setting me back.  If things don’t change, I will get a new blog and email address, but she still has my number.  I guess that would force her to call, but that will never happen so I would be safe in principle.  If you don’t like me then stay away from me.

I am going to change the starter in Linda’s car for her, since she can’t afford to have it professionally done.  I really don’t want to work on cars anymore, but I see a definite need and I know how to do it.  I have never liked working on cars; I saw it only as a necessity to driving one, and because I knew how to do it.  Now I don’t own a car, so I thought I was safe.  The only thing that I am apprehensive about is whether or not I will have the strength to break the bolts loose.  We shall see.

I am looking forward to maybe going to a biergarten with Mari and Christi later today.  The sun is shining and I feel good again.  Happy May Day.