Immerhin
Immer weiter…I outed myself to yet another coworker tonight. His reaction was totally positive. I am so lucky. I am so thankful to know such open minded and good people. I made the appointments today for next week with my company’s president on Tuesday at 2p, and then the next day with the personnel manager at 3.30p. I obviously didn’t get the appointment time with the pres, but it will have to work. I really don’t want to take the chance on disturbing him before he goes directly to another meeting. I would have much rather have done it at the end of the day, because I have no idea how he will react. He’s the pres after all, and he needs his concentration. Maybe he will take it all in stride, I could get fired, I don’t know. The main point is, I made the appointments and I will follow through with it.
I got really nervous after making the appointments, up until lunch where I ate a bowl of white bean soup with a wurst and bretzel. Afterwards I was a bit more settled. I normally don’t get that nervous, but thankfully it didn’t last long. I got nervous because the pres’ secretary asked me for the reason that I wanted to meet with him, and if it took longer than a couple of minutes, I would have to give a better reason than “it’s a personal matter.” She said to me “it sounds like you want to quit.” I told her no, that wasn’t what I wanted to talk to him about. I told her it was a sensitive personal matter, and that I couldn’t go into further detail and she finally accepted it. I received the appointment via outlook and confirmed it. Later on, I decided to stop by personnel to ask when the manager is usually there. They told me they didn’t know that and that I would have to speak with his assistant. His assistant resides with the pres’ assistant, with whom I made the appointment earlier, but by telephone. I decided to go and make the next appointment in person, since it was on the same floor of the building.
I stepped into the office and greeted them both, and asked if I could make an appointment with the personnel chef. She asked if it was the same reason as the other appointment with the pres (which says to me they talk), I said yes. I also asked her to schedule it after the appointment with the pres, and she obliged. The personnel chef’s assistant is hot and she knows it. She and I actually have a similar style. I seldom see her around at all, but she is always looking very chic, and I find myself envying her. I envy her because she was always looking how I wanted to look, and will too soon. Soon as in the 5th of April possibly. I will gage that after I speak with the pres. I have much to do this weekend as far as collecting information and preparing for the meetings. I want to bring information along with me to control as much of the events of the next weeks as possible. I figure if I supply them with the information, and information is power, then I should have the upper hand, via partially controlling their research materials. I want to walk in to the meetings with confidence and dignity with a defined plan in hand. I want to make it as hands-off for them as possible. I was thinking about suggesting that all the managers be informed on the days I will be off, with the request that they inform their respective departments before I return, so that nobody will be surprised. I have much to prepare, but I feel I can get it done. I have no other choice at this point, and I find it good so. I may as well just do it. I have wanted to do it for a while now. Alas, my leap of faith into womanhood is coming soon.
I was thinking about it last night, as if it was a new thought, an epiphany if you will…once I make the break there will be no more need to go back and forth anymore. It felt like I was to be released, freedom granted. Going back was especially hard the first day back at work last week. That feeling of freedom feels really good. The day that I have been working up to for my whole life practically, and especially hard in the past three years. I’m ready. It’s been quite a ride up to this point, and well worth it. We’ll see how it pans out. Good, I hope.
I got really nervous after making the appointments, up until lunch where I ate a bowl of white bean soup with a wurst and bretzel. Afterwards I was a bit more settled. I normally don’t get that nervous, but thankfully it didn’t last long. I got nervous because the pres’ secretary asked me for the reason that I wanted to meet with him, and if it took longer than a couple of minutes, I would have to give a better reason than “it’s a personal matter.” She said to me “it sounds like you want to quit.” I told her no, that wasn’t what I wanted to talk to him about. I told her it was a sensitive personal matter, and that I couldn’t go into further detail and she finally accepted it. I received the appointment via outlook and confirmed it. Later on, I decided to stop by personnel to ask when the manager is usually there. They told me they didn’t know that and that I would have to speak with his assistant. His assistant resides with the pres’ assistant, with whom I made the appointment earlier, but by telephone. I decided to go and make the next appointment in person, since it was on the same floor of the building.
I stepped into the office and greeted them both, and asked if I could make an appointment with the personnel chef. She asked if it was the same reason as the other appointment with the pres (which says to me they talk), I said yes. I also asked her to schedule it after the appointment with the pres, and she obliged. The personnel chef’s assistant is hot and she knows it. She and I actually have a similar style. I seldom see her around at all, but she is always looking very chic, and I find myself envying her. I envy her because she was always looking how I wanted to look, and will too soon. Soon as in the 5th of April possibly. I will gage that after I speak with the pres. I have much to do this weekend as far as collecting information and preparing for the meetings. I want to bring information along with me to control as much of the events of the next weeks as possible. I figure if I supply them with the information, and information is power, then I should have the upper hand, via partially controlling their research materials. I want to walk in to the meetings with confidence and dignity with a defined plan in hand. I want to make it as hands-off for them as possible. I was thinking about suggesting that all the managers be informed on the days I will be off, with the request that they inform their respective departments before I return, so that nobody will be surprised. I have much to prepare, but I feel I can get it done. I have no other choice at this point, and I find it good so. I may as well just do it. I have wanted to do it for a while now. Alas, my leap of faith into womanhood is coming soon.
I was thinking about it last night, as if it was a new thought, an epiphany if you will…once I make the break there will be no more need to go back and forth anymore. It felt like I was to be released, freedom granted. Going back was especially hard the first day back at work last week. That feeling of freedom feels really good. The day that I have been working up to for my whole life practically, and especially hard in the past three years. I’m ready. It’s been quite a ride up to this point, and well worth it. We’ll see how it pans out. Good, I hope.
posted by Christine Cormier @ 11:38 PM
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