sassy ride

I just got home from picking up my new bike in Weiterstadt. I rode it home, partially in the rain. I got the bike from Fredi, a colleague of mine. His ex-girlfriend left it behind when they broke up, and seeing as how I am going to start living full time as frau, he felt I needed an appropriate bike. We agreed to exchange my present men’s hybrid city/mountain bike for it 1 to 1. My new bike is way cool. I am so happy to have it. It is an Amsterdam bike. And for those who have been to Amsterdam, you realize how important bikes are there, especially the particular style of bike. Here’s a picture…isn’t it schön (beautiful)?


Last Sunday Fredi and Walter helped me with an armoire that I bought from one of Fredi’s ex-girlfriends. Fredi seems to have lots of ex-girlfriends. Fredi has a good heart. The armoire is probably about 120 years old by my estimations. I bought it for 200€, and the delivery will end up costing me a couple of beers and maybe dinner. The design of the armoire is quite clever. There are four wedges that hold it together, and once they are removed, the whole thing can be broken down into nine pieces. It seemed that it had been taken apart many times over its life. It originally was brought here from Austria by Walter, about 18 years ago. Here’s a picture of it…


I edited the text for my coming out webpage over the past few days and posted it last night. You can check it out here. I realize that most of the people that read this blog don’t understand German, but there is a picture to look at anyway. The text I received from a friend of a friend who used it for her coming out at work. I wanted to write something myself, but in the end it would have taken too much time because my German grammar is not so good. Although it is understandable, I didn’t want to take the chance of confusing anyone when presenting such an important topic. The text I received was basically what I wanted to say anyway, so I just went with it. I have invited a couple of my confidants to check it out and let me know what they think. It is addressed to the people I work with, to give them a more personal perspective on my transsexuality and the politics of transition. I need also to write a similar page, but in English for my colleagues in Detroit, as they will soon hear about me through the company grapevine. The news will travel like wildfire I’m sure.

Last Wednesday I met with the Chef from the cafeteria to set everything up with him for this Friday evening. I decided on a Bavarian feast complete with pretzels (my favorite German food next to beer of course) and hefeweizen. I decided to have it catered, I still have to pick it all up though, because I will be nervous enough without having to deal with buying everything and making sure there is enough. That afternoon I met with the personnel manager. He seemed receptive to what I was planning in so far as what he needed administratively to do. Beyond that, he offered nothing more. I am happy with just that. I will get my personnel records updated, and a new work ID card. I will help write the email that will be sent around to the whole group where I work. I was planning on including the link to my webpage in it. At this point I am not sure what to write though. I will probably have to call on my friend Petra’s expert advice.

On Thursday I sent out the email to all of the people I wanted to invite. In the email I didn’t give any specific reason, only that it is a personal matter. I also wrote that I wouldn’t answer any questions about it between then and the party. I created quite a stir in the company as one can imagine. I sparked everyone’s curiosity, and some people were playfully upset that I was making everyone wait so long to hear what I have to say. I am mostly over the nervousness, for now. Everyone automatically guesses that either I am: leaving the company, moving back to the states, getting married, having a child, won the lottery and have bought the company, will be sent back the states to manage the Detroit office, or I am terminally sick. I told them all that they have to wait because what I have to say is not an every day theme. I also told the people that wouldn’t make it not to worry, as what I have to say will be clear to everyone on the following Monday. That really sent them guessing. I assume someone will figure it out before then, they have to. I mean, come on.

I hope nobody does figure it out before hand. I think it best that it be a total surprise, so that the colleagues that do come will experience it all the same way and at the same time. I look at it as a bonding experience of sorts. I hope everything goes well. I have another electrolysis appointment on Thursday evening for an hour. That will be the last one for a few weeks, so that my face and neck has time to heal from the marathon sessions I have been through in the past weeks. Ellen finished the rest of my neck last Saturday. That hurt really, really bad. I did it without the xylocaine. I’m not sure how, but I did it. She worked on me for three hours and twenty minutes. I had a goiter for a couple of days, which is slowly going away.

Everything is going to plan so far. I cleared my face and neck once, I spoke with the pres and personnel chef, supplied them with information, organized the food, got the bike, posted the webpage, and didn’t let the cat out of the bag (so far). I am so fortunate that everything is going so well for me. I know lots of other people that it didn’t go so well for. My confidants at work have told me that they think I am doing it in the right way. I am convinced that being up front about my transition at work is the best way to handle it. Although I won’t be able to tell everyone personally, I think that being able to tell some personally is better than everyone receiving an email. Everyone in the company knows that I have something extraordinary to say, so the word is already out. At least they are all forewarned. I will end up being quite a spectacle for a couple of weeks, and then things should hopefully settle down.

I am already anxious about yet another presentation on the project I am working on that I must give at the end of April. The problem is, the Japanese colleagues that will be there met me as Christopher last fall, and then they will meet me as Christine. I’m not sure how they will react. Maybe they won’t, but that’s not likely. I will no doubt be viewed as a shameful disgrace. I don’t care what they think, as long as I don’t get fired because of it. I hope Heike will be part of the presentations, so that at least there will be another woman present beside me. I hope to be as strong a woman as she is. I am planning on wearing a nice skirt suit. I’ll just have to wait and see what happens. The presentations are supposed to be when Rachel will be here, on the 28th. I hope I can get out of it.

I checked on my passport on the state department website the other day. It said that it had been printed and was mailed back to the consulate in Ffm. I am hoping that it comes yet this week. I would like to go to the German authorities on Monday and update everything in one sitting. I also will have to return all the catering stuff on Monday morning to the cafeteria. And be a spectacle. The hard part will be over with by then though. Linda scheduled us for a hair appointment at her favorite Turkish salon in NI for Saturday at ten. I am planning on getting my hair cut a little, maybe layered, maybe blonde and red highlights. I have wanted to get an actual hairstyle for a long time. I have no illusions about my hair limitations, so I am hoping for the best. I really like my long hair and don’t want to cut it, but it needs it. Linda was also going to check on whether or not we could get our nails done on Saturday also. I would like to get a French manicure again like I had for my name change trip. This time I won’t have to remove them, yay!

I’ll try to keep posting as things develop over the next few days. Keep the fingers crossed.