Obsession
I’m getting uptight and I need to slow down and relax. To those of you, who have written to me, thanks for the support and I will get back to you soon. Effective time management has never been a strong point of mine. I am much better at procrastinating.
Being interested in fashion and looking and feeling good is a curse. I have been trying to make all the clothing that I need so that I can save some money, and to have something constructive to do with my free time. I have just about finally made everything that I need as far as summer clothes and fall is at the doorstep. I have to switch over to heavier and warmer fabrics and start on a fall wardrobe. The main thing I am worried about is my trip to Japan in three weeks. I have no warm weather business attire and it is supposed to be rather warm and humid still in Kyoto. I have been on the fence whether or not to just buy some clothes or to try to make something myself. Skirts and pants are not so difficult for me, but it’s the jacket that I haven’t fit yet. I suppose a dress isn’t out of the question either. I am worried about fitting a jacket or blazer. First of all because it takes a lot more work and I have had only bad luck in the past. I have been successful at making jersey tops, trouser shorts, skirts, jeans, and a jean jacket. I am dreading starting a fitted suit jacket, but I must do it at some point. I am putting too much pressure on myself. But I want to make a good impression when I am in Kyoto. I want to be fashionable business chic. I am such a pro its not even funny. Kpo, I guess you were right all along.
I have been trying to get an idea of where the fashion is headed for this fall so I can get a jump on it. I have noticed that the forties style pumps with the chunky triangular heel will be hot this fall. I lust after them. I love the fashion from the forties. I have a slight obsession with the suits that the leading ladies in the forties and fifties films wore. They were always nicely fitted and expertly tailored. Edith Head is a god. I want to be able to make my own designs come to life. I have so many so nice wools that have been wrapped up for two years or more that are crying to be tailored into something nice. Building a whole new wardrobe is becoming a real bitch. I never could have imagined how many staples I don’t have but would like to have. I have done a good job of not buying too much clothing and sticking only to buying shoes, which I am unable to make.
I have been getting a little uptight about money again. I was hoping to be able to save some money to get my bald spots fixed up, but I am not getting anywhere. I have been re-thinking about how much money I am tucking away every month in my retirement account. I should probably have a separate account for special things like fixing my hair, getting rid of this hideous carpet, a dining table, etc. I guess now that fall is almost here, I don’t really have to worry about going swimming, which is my biggest worry with my hair. I know this all sounds really vain, but there are things that bother me. I am happy with the rest of me except for the penis, slow breast growth, and my facial hair. The facial hair I am working on continuously, which is also draining my pocketbook. I had been going just about every two weeks but now I will be going every week. I figure the more I go, the sooner all the pain and financial strain will be over. If I had to guess how many hours I have suffered through so far I would say somewhere around 70 hours over three years. I have probably done thirty of those hours just in the last six months. 70 hours at €55 an hour comes out to €3850. That’s quite an investment in pain I must say. I probably will be doing this up until Xmas. I hope to be done by then. Then I will worry about the nether regions.
I hope I will get some money back from my German taxes, but I am not really counting on it. I should be happy despite my relative poorness because I am debt free, and there’s a certain freedom that goes with it. I am a perfectionist at heart and I want everything to be perfect, which I know is not realistic, but I strive for it anyway. I have learned to be more realistic with my expectations but sometimes it gets the better of me. I think I should discuss my obsessive-ness with my therapist tomorrow, and afterwards go look at the new fall Campers…
Being interested in fashion and looking and feeling good is a curse. I have been trying to make all the clothing that I need so that I can save some money, and to have something constructive to do with my free time. I have just about finally made everything that I need as far as summer clothes and fall is at the doorstep. I have to switch over to heavier and warmer fabrics and start on a fall wardrobe. The main thing I am worried about is my trip to Japan in three weeks. I have no warm weather business attire and it is supposed to be rather warm and humid still in Kyoto. I have been on the fence whether or not to just buy some clothes or to try to make something myself. Skirts and pants are not so difficult for me, but it’s the jacket that I haven’t fit yet. I suppose a dress isn’t out of the question either. I am worried about fitting a jacket or blazer. First of all because it takes a lot more work and I have had only bad luck in the past. I have been successful at making jersey tops, trouser shorts, skirts, jeans, and a jean jacket. I am dreading starting a fitted suit jacket, but I must do it at some point. I am putting too much pressure on myself. But I want to make a good impression when I am in Kyoto. I want to be fashionable business chic. I am such a pro its not even funny. Kpo, I guess you were right all along.
I have been trying to get an idea of where the fashion is headed for this fall so I can get a jump on it. I have noticed that the forties style pumps with the chunky triangular heel will be hot this fall. I lust after them. I love the fashion from the forties. I have a slight obsession with the suits that the leading ladies in the forties and fifties films wore. They were always nicely fitted and expertly tailored. Edith Head is a god. I want to be able to make my own designs come to life. I have so many so nice wools that have been wrapped up for two years or more that are crying to be tailored into something nice. Building a whole new wardrobe is becoming a real bitch. I never could have imagined how many staples I don’t have but would like to have. I have done a good job of not buying too much clothing and sticking only to buying shoes, which I am unable to make.
I have been getting a little uptight about money again. I was hoping to be able to save some money to get my bald spots fixed up, but I am not getting anywhere. I have been re-thinking about how much money I am tucking away every month in my retirement account. I should probably have a separate account for special things like fixing my hair, getting rid of this hideous carpet, a dining table, etc. I guess now that fall is almost here, I don’t really have to worry about going swimming, which is my biggest worry with my hair. I know this all sounds really vain, but there are things that bother me. I am happy with the rest of me except for the penis, slow breast growth, and my facial hair. The facial hair I am working on continuously, which is also draining my pocketbook. I had been going just about every two weeks but now I will be going every week. I figure the more I go, the sooner all the pain and financial strain will be over. If I had to guess how many hours I have suffered through so far I would say somewhere around 70 hours over three years. I have probably done thirty of those hours just in the last six months. 70 hours at €55 an hour comes out to €3850. That’s quite an investment in pain I must say. I probably will be doing this up until Xmas. I hope to be done by then. Then I will worry about the nether regions.
I hope I will get some money back from my German taxes, but I am not really counting on it. I should be happy despite my relative poorness because I am debt free, and there’s a certain freedom that goes with it. I am a perfectionist at heart and I want everything to be perfect, which I know is not realistic, but I strive for it anyway. I have learned to be more realistic with my expectations but sometimes it gets the better of me. I think I should discuss my obsessive-ness with my therapist tomorrow, and afterwards go look at the new fall Campers…
posted by Christine Cormier @ 9:07 PM
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