treated

I have had an interesting week of treatments.  I finally made an appointment with a dentist for the first time in over ten years.  I made up for all that lost dental time in one week.  I wasn’t in the chair for five minutes and he was already drilling.  Apparently I had three fillings that had broken away and they needed attention.  He did two that day and then the third on Thursday afternoon.  They conned me into scheduling my professional cleaning for the following day, Friday.  I think he used every cleaning process known to man on me.  Nearest I can tell he used high pressure citric acid water, sandblasting, some kind of weird ultrasonic thing, dental floss coated with sand, and a good ‘ol fashioned scraper pick.  It was a nightmare.  I am lucky I didn’t choke.  There was water and sand spraying out of my mouth constantly.  My face was covered with a fine layer of sand after he was finished.  The inside of my lips were totally raw which made smoking very painful.  I asked about the condition of my teeth, to which he said everything was in order.  Good enough.  I don’t remember cleanings being so messy and thorough, and painful.  Granted my addictions to smoking, red wine and coffee along with my aversion to flossing added up to stained in between areas that needed industrial strength treatments.  I plan on having a cleaning once a year from now on.

I went to therapy on Tuesday, which went harmlessly enough as we discussed the different identifying genres of the underground life.  We discussed my recent foray into the goth-wave-punk underground.  Around the end of the session he asked me how I feel when I talk about the past and Kpo.  I was on the verge of tears when I started to think about it.  I left there and rode the train home, weeping the whole ride.  Staying out all night over the weekend really fucked up my sleep schedule which in turn made me vulnerable to feeling really depressed.  I need to learn to not be so fatalistic about everything.  In general I feel doom and gloom when I feel something will not work out or is insurmountable.  I get anxious and feel like my little world is going to end.  Depression I guess I should call it.  I should be happier though, I am taking care of things that I have needed to attend to.  I am slowly chipping away at the chaos.

I went to electrolysis on Wednesday evening.  Clearing my cheeks took only 22 minutes.  I will have to start combining areas to come out to a full hour.  I am happy that the end of electrolysis milestone is slowly approaching.  I just hope my skin survives.

I was hoping to fly back to the states for a couple of weeks, but my group leader denied my request for vacation because I am behind schedule with the new design.  I almost started crying, but I held out.  I will be taking about six weeks off starting November 24th up until the second week of January.  I like the idea of having so much time off from work, but I would rather spend the time when the weather is warmer.  I guess I could go skiing somewhere, maybe the first week of January.  I hope to start my vacation as soon as I get back from Japan.  We are tentatively planned to be there starting the festivities of the design review on the 21st of November.  I will probably be forced to start my vacation on the first of December, at which point I will not come back to work until the 15th of January.  I am trying to see this positively, I will have plenty of time to work on my winter wardrobe.  I am almost finished with the jacket that I started a month ago.  All I have left is to insert the lining and buttons.  It is coming out nice.  The next one I will have to extend the sleeves about an inch.
I met Marion and Christiane at the Pilhuhn Friday night to party because Marion is flying out to Brazil for three months next Wednesday.  I was having a good time until Sabine latched on to me.  She was so drunk and wouldn’t stop talking about caring for her husband with lung cancer.  I feel for her and her plight, but she stole most of the night away from me.  I should have been talking with Marion the whole time.  I’m not sure how many beers I ended up drinking, my tab came out to 13.80.  I got home around three o’clock and slept until two yesterday afternoon.  I felt totally drained of energy once I got up.  I rode to walmart to get some food and soy milk.  I laid down for a nap at around 7.30 on the air mattress that Chloe had been sleeping on, with the intention of sleeping for an hour or so.  I woke up to pee at 2.30am and went to sleep again in my bed.  I had some really weird dreams.  I feel recharged this morning.  Today the stores in the city centre are open from 1 to 6p.  A rarity in these parts.  I plan to assemble the lining for the jacket today and then go and buy some more olive corduroy, I just hope the color matches.  I bought the first bit of it last fall, and the bolt is surely not the same.

Chloe should be coming back either today or tomorrow.  More than likely she will return tomorrow.  She has been to Italy and probably somewhere else, exactly where I don’t know.  I will miss her when she goes back to live in the states.  She will probably not want to live there anymore just like I have been tainted by the European feel.  I will be getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow in Ffm with Jesus.  I am excited yet apprehensive that what he is planning will actually work.  I will have to trust him.

I didn’t want to become a weekly blogger, blogging weakly, but alas that is what I have become.  Maybe I can break out of my slump in the face of depression.