crying game

I just checked and found that I haven’t wept in a month.  That corresponds with my BUM’s promise to lay bare the CA’s trickery to upper management.  It seemed to work.  But that story has seen too much press over the past months.  I have been feeling lonely lately, always, but nowadays I don’t get all hung up on it and cry.  I think I am getting used to being alone again.  The time after I moved to Detroit was difficult up to the point that I met Kpo.  All the friends that I ever had in Detroit before then were all having to do with my job.  Friends and colleagues are always a good thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the true friends that are also workmates very much.

I visited with my financial advisor and insurance lady tonight.  WE spent more time chatting than we did with my finances.  That was cool.  Tonight was the first time she saw me as me.  I had been honest with her up front because I have somewhat special financial needs being a transwoman.  She was interested in me and what I was up against with work and all, and as another person also.  I could almost sense that not all was well with her, and it wasn’t, so I found out.  Her man was away for four months working in Argentina and over that time she fell out of love with him.  We discussed long distance relationships and relationships in general for a while.  She really opened up to me.  It felt good that I was able to have a conversation with her like that.  I felt that I was able to totally relate to her feelings, and I had something constructive to say.  In the past I have felt a bit adept in some, quote, female-female situations.  I felt like tonight I was having a deep conversation with a close friend.  I think we will get together for a coffee or a glass of wine sometime soon.

When I was loading up my bike to go see my FA, the guy who tried to convince me to come home with him walked by.  He was staring at me and nodding his head toward his apartment.  He was wearing some sort of black and red track suit, eewww!  I just smiled and shook my head as I rode away.

I wore my new camper heels today and I am regretting it.  I have to get some gel inserts for the balls of my feet.  Or not wear a heel higher than an inch.  I am tall enough anyway.  I wore the trousers that I bought last week and a blouse that I bought last night.  I did well last night at H&M.  I went there to only get a blouse to wear with the new suit, and ended up buying 75E worth of stuff.  I got a trench coat in old pink for 20E, a navy blue hip length double breasted cotton jacket for 12E, two button down blouses for 15E each, and finally a nude colored bra to wear under a white blouse.  I felt and looked good today.  I have always liked the tailored trouser and button down blouse look on other women.  Today I am that other woman, her name is Christine.