survival kit

I survived yet another electrolysis session. She was rushing to get me finished because she didn’t plan enough time to be thorough. And as a consequence caused me more pain than normal. I also wanted to do my chest and around my areola but she told me she wouldn’t have time. It stung a bit when I thought about the last week walking around with relatively long hair, although scarce, but still noticeable at close proximity, between my breasts. I made sure to tell her to plan enough time next treatment to do my other areas.

I went to an aikido workshop last weekend in hamsterdam. The program was basically aikido for 1.5 hours, a 20 minute break, and then katsugen undo for 1.5 hours. The aikido was difficult on my body, especially my feet and knees. I was not used to having to sit in a kneeling position so therefore the skin on the tops of my feet and knees were raw and the muscles and tendons stretched too far. The katsugen undo was the main reason I went to the workshop. I made it through all of it without missing anything, so I have a nice sense of accomplishment. I should since it all brought me close to death and I survived it.

I was warned to be cautious with the katsugen undo because it has the potential to work against my transition. I did four sessions over the weekend and also in the past two nights here in my living room. I’m not totally sure if what I am feeling is from the katsugen undo already, but I seem to have a new approach to stressful situations. I have had three separate instances this week where someone called me totally stressed out and started to lay some shit on me. I was able somehow to shield myself from their projection. I was able to stay calm and cooperative and reassuring that we are doing the best we can and that it will work out. I don’t seriously think it will all work out, but I try to be positive anyway. I am able to accept things better, and to therefore not get stressed about things I cannot influence. I feel more of a sense of calm and peacefulness, and clarity that is scaring me.

for the first couple of days after the workshop I was wondering if I would continue the aikido. The katsugen undo I will continue for sure, as long as I don’t notice any problems. I decided yesterday that I would continue with the aikido, and tonight I realized why. aikido and katsugen undo seem to belong together somehow. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be part of a system that has masters one must answer to. I like to look at it as a teacher-student relationship, and not necessarily as an authority or dominate-submissive relationship. The focus was on feeling rather than thinking. Between my new found good health and now katsugen undo too, I feel so good and have so much energy.

There are lots of things I need to get accomplished so I am not going to have much free time or the next foreseeable future. I am thinking I might try to go to aikido three times a week and do katsugen undo when I have time in the evening or morning. I ordered a training kimono online yesterday from a place in Ffm. christi told me that she wanted to try aikido the last time I saw her. I want to get in touch with her this weekend to tell her my plans and to see if she still wants to do it. Even if she decides not to do it, I will continue. I am thankful for my girlfriend, that she has shown me the way. Grazie amore mio dolce.

I would like to write more but I have to cook dinner, eat, write two emails, and finish writing a script for the product line manager on the dual clutch machine I designed for vw. He will be reading my text in a video tomorrow with the machine that he knows nothing about. I guess he doesn’t have to when he has lackeys around like me. The original due date on the writing wasn’t until first week in march, then it was the 27^th, and this morning it became today. I started writing it at about noon and had to leave at four thirty with three quarters of a page. I need to write about the test procedures that the customer plans to perform with the machine. I should be really stressed but I am not, and that feels nice.

don’t let me forget to write about the ambulance mafia experience. ciao!