frankreich

I’m on the ICE on the trip back from hamsterdam again. This weekend went by way to fast. I arrived on Friday night at 23.40 and then tracked the KR0c back to her lair and she made some cherrini bait. Cherrini didn’t go for the bait at first, but in the end, her hunger would not go unsatisfied. We finally fell asleep at about 3.30 am. I slept until noon and awoke to find the aquanun slipped away while I slumbered. She had to work, so I found out later when she came back home for a late breakfast. I had an egg with fried cauliflower and saatenbrot toast with almond butter. The kR0C had eggs with some green stuff fried beside it. I’m not sure what to make of her eating habits sometimes.

The nUN0I went back to work and I got showered and put on makeup. I burned the skin around and under my brows. I colored them on Friday morning before work and I think I put either too much developer drops or the skin was too clean. I think that it is recommended to color them in the morning after not washing the skin, so that the natural oils and moisturizers act to protect the skin from irritation. My brow area over both eyes is red and at times really itchy. I have never had this problem before, and it is really bad. I’ll have to be much more careful next time. Just writing about it is making me itch. I finished getting ready and went to do some shopping on the walk to meet the nUnO1 at work. I stopped for a quick coffee and then bought some purple animomi flowers at the bloemenmarkt, and then I went to Lush to get more soak and float shampoo to help with my scalp problems.

I arrived at paradise and the kRoC let me in to wait for her to be finished setting up the vj. We left to go to the vrankrijk to meet anus to set up the beamer and everything for later after the bands were finished. She was invited to vj with the dj after the bands were finished. As we were enjoying a bier and salted almonds, one of the organizers said to me, “so aquanun told me that you wanted to help out tonight?” I said, yeah sure, of course. My fiancé had volunteered me to work without telling me, and I had to find it out from the organizer even. No worries, I didn’t mind, she had to go back to work for a couple of hours anyway. We left and went back home to have some dinner. We both went back to the place and then separated. I was asked to collect glasses for the bar. I felt a bit uncomfortable at first because people were not so easy with letting me through the crowd to get the empties. I eventually got into it and everything went fine. Once the crowd saw what I was doing, they began to let me through easily and also put their empties on the stack. I’m proud of myself since I didn’t break any. I met a great number of the people in the KrOc’s circle of friends. It seemed everyone was having a nice night. I was too. I met lots of people that said they heard of me, but I hadn’t heard of them. She knows so many people. One woman introduced herself to me, and although she looked very familiar, I for sure hadn’t met her before. This morning I found that she was an identical twin of one of the organizers. That kinda tripped me out a bit.

This trip and the last one were both relatively hectic, with the aikido workshop last time and the vrankrijk party this time. The party last night was a benefit for Ladyfest in Rotterdam in the summer. There were four bands and el bandita and her girlfriend spinning in between bands. It was nice to be amongst a lot of feminist women and some were queer too I’m sure. I had to become like a cat to maneuver between all the people in the crowd whilst carrying lots of very breakable glass. I had fun and told the kRoc that it is ok to volunteer me to do stuff there if there is another occasion that I will be in town for.

We have such wonderful lovemaking together and are so into each other. I feel as though I am finally getting my life together, or maybe that things are just fitting better now? It makes me feel good woteva it is. With the aikido practice and katsugen undo together I am able to accomplish both physical and mental conditioning. Both combined have given me a new feeling of vitality and energy. I feel as though that the time was exactly right to begin practicing them both. I am also trying to make an effort to organize all my belongings in my apartment. I began sorting my clothes, and when I am through with that I will work on organizing my shoes. I have bought countless pairs of relatively expensive and good quality shoes that didn’t end up fitting right. I am contemplating selling them on ebay, to at least try to get some of the money that I spent on them back somehow. After the shoes, then I want to tackle my sewing supplies and fabrics. I am planning on making an inventory list in excel so that I can actually know what I have without searching through everything to find what I need. I will also have to contemplate what to do about renovating my apartment in anticipation of eventually moving out. I want to do what I can when I can to prevent having to do everything all at once, not to mention the money outlay.

I feel better now than I have felt for a very long time. I just don’t know how I will get everything done. It seems as though I have very little time to just sit around and do nothing. Work also promises to become a lot more demanding in the next bit of time. I am finishing the first project for vw and the next one has already started. The climate at work is rather bad at the moment, but I am remarkably better able to deal with it and not let it get me down so much as it has in the past. I did notice last week that after standing in between two people arguing and yelling at each other, I couldn’t help but absorb some of their negative energy. I tried to cleanse myself of it after lunch so that it didn’t ruin the rest of my day, but I guess I wasn’t strong enough to be able to do it yet. I felt not so nice that evening, and I should have practiced K-U but I had to work on organizing my paperwork for preparing my taxes. The next day I felt better again, except for learning that others had decided that I should go to Kassel the next day. Management by surprise is the best, trust me, it really keeps one on their toes. I feel much clearer mentally, which is a nice feeling to have. I am trying to use my positive energy to find balance within my life, and between my body and mind.

I am going to attempt to get into bed at a decent time tonight, as I must wash my hair in the morning and vw is supposed to be coming for the entire day to see the machine that I designed for them. The assembly went off without any major problems, and they were able to run it without problem up to 5000 revolutions per minute when I left on friday to go home. I hope they were able to get the rest of the program to run over the weekend. The machine is designed to be run at a maximum speed of 8000 rpm. I will be interested to find out how things went tomorrow. I hope everything stayed together. I am proud of myself that the machine was able to be run at relatively high speed immediately after being final assembled. I feel as though I met the challenge that I was presented with, and the challenge was not only the design itself, but also the negative milieu that I was forced to design it in. I am a strong woman, and I am finally beginning to realize it.