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I arrived back home from my trip to the states this morning.  It was a very successful and wonderful trip.  Everything worked out well.  You may now call me Christine Joan instead of that old name, it’s official ya know.  Here’s the recap of my trip back to the states.

I had my bag mostly packed by the time I went to bed on Saturday night.  I only needed to put my toiletries and skin care in their bags and throw them in the suitcase.  I only packed two days worth of man clothes, and the rest was all girly.  I was also able to check in online, which is new and fantastic.  My cheeks looked like I was gathering nuts for the winter by the time I went to bed.  I imagine that is what my face would look like if I gained lots of weight.  I booked a taxi for the morning to bring me to the airport, pick-up time: 07.30.  I was in bed by midnight with both of my cold packs strapped to my face.

I got up on time and got in the shower.  I was surprised that I was relatively efficient, having thankfully packed my bag the night before.  I had enough time for a half a cup of coffee and I was out the door.  As soon as I had my bag at the curb, the taxi pulled up.  She quipped “good timing”.  The taxi driver was nice and we chatted on the way to the airport.  At that time of the morning on a Sunday, there is literally no one on the roads.  We arrived at the airport in fifteen minutes flat.  There was hardly any line at the check in counter, which didn’t matter because I am now able to check in at the business class counter which almost never has a line.  I felt like I have made it out of the steerage.  I was checked in and ready to go through security by 08.00.  I had two hours to kill and an empty stomach, so I decided to have a café au lait and a croissant with cheese in one of the airport cafés.  I sailed through security and was off to my gate.  I stopped and bought some fashion mags at a news store.  The have LUCKY magazine in Germany now, so I picked up a copy.  While I was buying some water for the flight I noticed they had the favorite liqueur of a friend of mine, so I picked up a bottle of it for them.

The flight sucked big time.  There were two small children seated right behind me, crying constantly it seemed and constantly pushing on the back of seat with their feet, right in the lower back area.  Fun.  It always works out that the babes a whalin’ end up sleeping at the end of the flight when everyone is awake again.  I forgot my ear plugs.  The flight arrived on time and I picked up my rental at hertz.  I drove out to allison’s in Roseville.  Whe I arrived, her and Lisa were at home depot buying kitchen cabinets.  They came home shortly after.  I was glad to see them again.  I miss my friends in Detroit.  They gave me some Tylenol and a frozen water bottle to cool my face to try to bring the swelling down.  We talked for a while and then went to a Mexican joint for dinner.  We were waiting to be seated when the hostess came and said “right this way ladies”.  I was in male mode, mind you.  It felt good nevertheless.  Allison seems to be the charm.  We went back the house afterwards and played some Xbox games, then bed.

On Monday I went and visited my friend and gave him the bottle I had got for him.  Afterwards I went to my old job and said hello to everyone.  I had a short meeting with the new HR woman and explained my situation to her.  She seemed very postitive, but recommended that I tell the receptionist, Debbie, personally.  I have been concerned about what to do about telling Debbie because she is the one who collects my stateside mail and sends it to me here.  I didn’t want to just let it go without at least saying something to her.  I’m not sure what she would have though should my mail start showing up addressed to a one Christine Joan X.  I tried to set something up with her for that day, but she didn’t have time, so we set up a lunch date for Wednesday.

I went out with Tasos for a coffee after the workday was over.  We went to a little café in Royal Oak.  I told him there about what I am doing, meaning my transition.  He was concerned for me, and made sure I knew what I was doing.  I assured him that I did.  He told me about a childhood friend of his that had transitioned, so he was already familiar with the concept of transition.  He assured me that he accepted my decision and that he would continue to be my friend and colleague.  I had a feeling he would be ok with me.  We talked about some things he is working on personally in preparation for quitting his job with our company.  He has some interesting ideas.  We left the café and then drove separately to Manfred’s apartment on Cass Lake.  Tasos stayed only for about an hour and then left.

I stayed behind and hung out with Manfred.  We talked about work related stuff for a couple of hours and then I decided to shift the subject to me.  I told him also of my transition and he was supportive.  We discussed lots of things about transition, as he was very curious about it.  Manfred was planning his move to the states as I was planning my move to Germany.  WE shared lots of personal stuff back then and therefore I felt that I could tell him.  He was also very supportive and accepted my decision.  Two more allies.  I ended up staying over at his place as it was 01.00 when we decided we were both tired.  He put me up in his spare bedroom on an air mattress.  He got me up at 07.00.  I got dressed and had a coffee and a smoke with him and we were off.

I went to the Old Port Inn for breakfast.  The old fart inn, as it is also known, is a little family restaurant right around the corner from the house I once owned.  Afterwards I went to CVS to pick up some odds and ends.  I took a shower back at allison’s and got ready to go to visit my former therapist in Ann Arbor.  I was naturally running a bit late.  I arrived at her office about fifteen minutes late.  We had a good catch-up session, and she seemed a little disturbed that I wasn’t out at work yet.  I assured her that I have a time plan that I am trying to stick to, and that part was to happen soon.  She told me that it was plain for her to see that I had changed quite a bit, both mentally and physically, since the last time we saw each other.

I drove back to troy to go shopping at Marshall field’s because I needed a black turtleneck to wear with my suit the next day.  I also bought some DKNY tights in black and brown which just happened to be on sale.  I had a tough time finding just a plain black turtleneck though.  I was forced to cover every clearance rack in the store because they already had the spring apparel out.  I even tried on the sweater I found and had no problems.  I was paranoid because someone had told me that I wouldn’t be allowed to do such a thing in that store being a transwoman.  It didn’t seem to matter, even with the store security surveiling the dressing rooms.  I am sufficiently passable now, I guess.  The sales associates were also very nice and chatty.  That done, I met Allison at her job and then we went to Birmingham to get our nails done.  I decided to get a gel tip French manicure.  I have always wanted to get my nails professionally done, and I finally did.  It was nice.

Jennifer met us at the nail salon.  We left there and went around the corner to get a snack at a diner.  It was good to see Jennifer again.  She had her surgery last month and was still off of work for a couple more weeks.  We all went to the Ferndale support group together, and to our wonderment, the room was totally full.  That never happens.  There were a lot of new faces I hadn’t seen before.  It was an interesting meeting, and I was able to give an update on how I am doing and also touch on some points relevant to what some of the others had said.  Some of us went to Maria’s afterwards for dinner.  Julia heard somehow that I was there and came to visit with me at our table.  It was good to see her again.  She was doing well despite having to go off the hormone treatments due to financial reasons.  We talked for a while and she asked me for some advice on her living arrangements.  I hope she will be alright.  I worry about her from time to time.

Allison and I went back to her place and I got prepared for my big day.  I woke up extra early to make sure I had enough time to primp myself enough and iron my skirt suit.  I looked just the way I wanted to and felt really good about it.  Allison and Lisa wished me well and I was off to Pontiac.  I got to the courthouse with fifteen minutes to spare.  I found the correct courtroom and checked in with the clerk.  My case was the first on the docket.  The Judge was a very nice and positive man, not to mention very handsome as well.  He asked me the standard questions and then granted me my name change.  Yay!!!  He asked me to approach the bench and we chatted a bit.  He asked me if he had presided over my divorce, and I said yes.  I expressed my regrets for not being present, and explained that I had relied on someone to inform me of the date, but the didn’t.  He asked if the settlement was in order, to which I told him it had been fully agreed upon beforehand.  I made it clear that I was sorry that I wasn’t there, and he said not to worry about it.  He shook my hand and wished me luck.  I left the courtroom with a grin from ear to ear.

I filed the document with the clerk and had several certified copies made.  I left the courthouse and went to the secretary of state, which come to find out didn’t open until 11.00 that day.  I decided to go to the social security office while I was waiting for them to open.  Everything at the social security office went smooth, and I drove back to the sec of state.  The woman who served me was all ready to change the M to an F on my license in addition to my name, but her supervisor put he kybosh on it.  Oh well.  My new license photo came out really nice though.  I should have my new license in a couple of weeks.  After that I went across the street to my bank and changed my name on my accounts.  I ended up chatting with my personal banker for a few minutes.  Everyone was so nice and supportive.  I am so lucky, and also thankful.  In the meantime I called Debbie to make sure we were still on for lunch.  I had some time to kill before meeting her so I went back to Marshall Fields to stock up on Clinique.  The saleswoman was a very nice and helpful older woman.  She felt bad that I wouldn’t be able take advantage of the coming bonus time, so she gave me some cleanser travel kits.  I bought a new shade of lipstick too.

I waited in the parking lot of the restaurant where I was to meet Debbie for lunch.  I became nervous that I was going to give her a heart attack or something.  I should have planned this better, I thought.  I didn’t want to have to shock her, and would have much rather have told her in neutral or male mode.  She is the first person that I would tell while presenting female.  It was too late, now or never.  She pulled into the parking lot and I got out my car to meet up with her.  She walked right up to me and said hello.  I said hello back.  I paused for a second and she said “well c’mon”.  I asked her if everything was ok, she said “don’t be ridiculous, c’mon let’s go eat”.  She was amazing; she didn’t even skip a beat.  Again lucky.  I explained to her what was going on with me and that my mail would soon be coming addressed to Christine, and to inform her is why I asked her to lunch.  I apologized for springing myself on her, but she said everybody needs to be who they need to be, and not to worry about it.  She told me about a football player she went to HS with that transitioned, but she hadn’t ever seen her again.  We talked quite a bit about our families.  She was very open-minded which was a pleasant surprise.  I don’t know her that well, but she seems like a good person.  She told me that one time she had seen my profile as I was talking to someone and she thought to herself, “gee, he would make a pretty woman”.  I like her more and more.  We had a very interesting lunch together, and I am thankful everything worked out for the best.

By mid afternoon my toes were killing me.  The pointy toed shoes I was wearing had torn up a couple of my tootsies.  The shoes are a 41 and I thought they fit a bit tight at first.  I noticed that with my feet sweating from the heat in the car, my foot slid to the front of the shoes, jamming my toes together as I walked.  It took me a little while to figure out how to walk in them without walking out of them.  I got a coffee and went to Birmingham to look for the silver jewelry store, if it was still there.  It was.  I treated myself to a couple of matching necklace-earring combos and a black onyx cuff.  I love my silver.  You can keep your gold.  One set is sort of art nouveau-ish with purple stones and the other is sort of Deco in black onyx.  I loved the necklace Mari and Christi gave me for Xmas, and wanted to see if I could find other similar stuff.  I spent way more than I wanted to, but I always wear the same thing and I would rather mix it up a bit more.  They had really nice Victorian brooches, with really fine filigree and typical shapes.  Now that I think about it, I probably should have bought one with the romantic look coming for spring.  I can picture a nice fitted blouse with small tuxedo shirt ruffles, and a full roll collar, and then the brooch at the top button.  Oh well.

I went back to Allison’s after the silver fix.  I spoke with Lisa for a while before Allison got home.  They both congratulated me and gave hugs.  I got changed out my suit and into jeans to go shooting with Allison and Jennifer.  I drove us to meet Jennifer at the range.  We didn’t have to wait too long before we got a lane.  That was the first time I went shooting in female mode.  Some of the people at the range scare me a little.  Maybe because there are lots of loaded guns around, and I am allergic to lead.  Anyway all was good.  I think we intimidated some of the men on the range with us chicks firing the M1.  I hadn’t fired it since I left Detroit last may, and this time it seemed a lot heavier and harder to aim.  We had lots of fun.  Allison got yelled at because she wasn’t following the two seconds between shots rule.  We went to Outback for dinner afterwards.

We went back to Allison’s so I could get packed up in anticipation of my flight in the morning.  I got up and got ready to go only to find out the hard way that we had freezing rain overnight.  I no sooner got the windows scraped off then I saw lightning and heard thunder.  Suddenly it started sleeting really heavy.  I accepted the fact at that point that I would be missing my flight.  I thanked Allison and Lisa for their wonderful hospitality and said goodbye.  Traffic was Detroit half the way to the airport.  It was enough to make me miss my flight.  I missed the boarding window by five minutes.  Luckily I was to be flying first class and the booking agent took care of me immediately by booking me on the next flight out, also in first class.  I had a little time to kill so I got a coffee and went outside to smoke a couple butts.  I used the women’s room all by myself for the first time in Detroit Metro that day.  It was no big deal.  I tried to act as normally as possible, like I was supposed to be in there (because I am), and everything went fine.  Flying first class was fun, even if it is only a 1.5 hour flight.

Ma and Lenny Picked me up at the airport in Providence in a raging snowstorm.  The three-quarters of an hour drive home turned into two and a half.   Not fun.  We made it home and had some dinner.  Lenny made me a linguicia sandwich, yummy.  I showed ma the pictures I had taken a couple of weeks ago and had her pick out a couple to frame.  We talked a bit to catch up on the last two months and what I learned about myself over Xmas.  I called Ann because mother told me that she wanted to do lunch with me on Friday.  I was wiped out from the previous few days, so I went to bed early.

Jen picked me up around nine at ma’s to bring me back to her place to get the other jeep.  I drove it back to ma’s and finished my makeup and then waited for Ann.  She came and we headed for the ND mall so she could get a couple of sodoku books.  We went to baker’s books on rte 6.  Along the way we spoke about how our teams at our jobs are so dysfunctional.  It seems she is confronted by the same bull that I have to deal with daily.  Afterwards we went to G&S pizza in the milk bottle for a grinder.  We talked about lots of different things while eating lunch, like how her children were doing after having seen the pictures I sent her.  Allison asked her if I stuffed my bra.  I told her they are heavily padded, but what’s inside is all me.  We also talked about me coming over to see her girls sometime on the weekend.  She brought me back to ma’s and I packed up to go shopping.

I went to Taunton first to Joann fabrics to finally spend my gift card from ma from Xmas.  They were all out of the Gingher tailoring scissors I needed, so I decided to bag it and head to the other one in Dartmouth.  I noticed a photo shop across the way so I stopped in.  The woman that helped me with ordering my pictures was really nice.  I had her take some passport pictures for me as well.  My order would be ready the following morning at nine.  I drove to ND and found the tailoring scissors I was looking for.  I also bought some more unique quilting fabrics for the jeans I plan to make.  After getting out of there I went to best buy to look at a new, more compact digital camera.  When all was said and done, I spent way more than anticipated, but in hindsight it is a kick-ass camera.  I got a Canon power shot digital elph SD550.  It has all the features I wanted, like a view finder, rechargeable battery, SD media, etc.  I bought an extra battery and a leather case for it.  I also picked up a two GB SD card to go with the camera.  I headed back to ma’s to meet up with Rachel.

We hung out and waited for Jen and Diane to come over to eat.  They picked up pizza from Ray’s for all of us.  I had a half plain half linguicia, tasty treats.  I would eat linguicia three days in a row.  We hung out a little longer and then Jen and Diane went home.  Rachel and I watched tv for a while together.  While I was sitting on the couch, I started to look at myself through other people’s eyes and therefore felt I was pathetic and crazy for wanting to be a woman.  I chocked those thoughts up to the beer and confronting my past once again by being around my family and the house where I grew up.  I went to bed fairly early again.  I got up before everyone else and decided to take advantage of the free bathroom and got to showering.  Lenny made me a linguicia omelet with toast.  Nummy.  I went to pick up my pictures in Taunton while Rachel got ready.  Lizzy got to ma’s after twelve and we discussed where we were going to go shopping.  The main priority was to hit a DSW.  We decided to go to the one in Warwick RI.  I ended up buying a pair of cool black leather pumps with a rounded toe.  Lizzy got a pair of sneakers.  After that we went to Providence Place to look at jeans in Nordstrom.   I found a nice pair of Franco Sarto flats finally.  I have been looking for a comfortable pair of stylish flats for the longest time.

This is all the energy I have to write for today.  I will finish the rest tomorrow.