thrown together

What a day. I woke up with a slight hangover and really bad heartburn. I went with Helmi to visit our doctor, who is out sick recovering from a retinal detachment. We schimpf’d about our work and drank lots of red wine and ate lots of bread and cheese. I tried not to stay so late but the time just flew by. I got six hours of sleep, which was far too little. Our weekly team meeting was to be attended by the president today, and I planned on getting to work early to set up the laptop. The pres told me last week that he knows a lot about the costs, but hasn’t seen the design yet. He asked me to present the design to him at today’s meeting. I worked on getting some pictures together last Saturday, not for me but for my pushy PM for his presentation on our project from hell. He was to give the presentation tonight at the management circle meeting.

I made it to work with time to spare to set up the laptop and put my hair up. Today is a non hair washing day. I only wash my hair every other day; otherwise it gets totally dried out. It actually feels better and more manageable on the second day but it is usually too flat to wear it down.

The PM decided to give his presentation for all of us this morning. He made good use of the pictures I made. When the meeting ended the pres invited the whole team to come to the management meeting this evening. Right before lunch I was asked if I would present the mechanical part of the PM’s presentation. I accepted with only hours to go before the meeting. I had seven slides to put language to and about two minutes for each slide. I am constantly a victim of management by surprise.

The PM had a few weeks to prepare the presentation, and I had merely a couple of hours. Seat of your pants presentations are the best. I was able to at least give my speech in English, which makes it easier even though I still get nervous. I am somewhat embarrassed by my voice, but I did it anyway. It went well, but I felt a bit off my game. I suppose it was the lack of preparation that made me most nervous. I like having enough time to think about the matter to present, at least long enough to come up with a strategy for the presentation. I hope it didn’t sound too thrown together. The PM thanked me and told me I did a good job. He shits on me constantly and the complements are hard to come by.

I felt a bit awkward about presenting the design since I am as good as gone from the group. It is only a matter of time before I start my new position in powertrain. I was told today that we won a large contract for VW for several powetrain machines. I have an appointment scheduled with the pres tomorrow to tell him I will take the powertrain gig. I wonder who they will get to fill my current position. I am just a slight bit disappointed that I am moving on before the machine is finally finished. I guess it is as good as finished anyway. I will probably work on it for a few more weeks, just long enough to get everything ordered. I can still enjoy seeing it go together over the next few months. I hope I have done everything right.

I wonder what kpo is up to. I hope she is ok. If you are reading this drop me a line.

there is hope

I met with the pres today to discuss my (possible) future with the company. It was a very positive meeting for me. He must have looked at his calendar because he was prepared for our meeting. I was there to speak with him about my time contract slowly come to an end. He had spoken with the pres at the detroit office where I used to work if they had interest in having me back. They do, but detroit is the last place I want to move back to, except maybe to be around my friends again. I had applied last week at a competitor online while I was playing hookie from work. I had to leave work for an hour or so to try to get my head back together after a technical discussion degraded into a shouting match. In the end I ultimately won because I kept my design intact. ha! I have been overwhelmed with impossible deadlines and cost targets.

Hopefully they one day see once the machine is finally built how easily and quickly it goes together why I put up such a fight. I am proud of what I have accomplished, and once it exists in steel the real reward comes. I don't care if anyone else likes it or not. I had also spoken with the team manager from the powertrain group last week if he had interest in having me work with him. He told me he did and recommended that I speak with the department manager. Apparently there was already talk about me and another modularising project, but this time without all the needless other people mixed in, and in powertrain group. Powertrain machines are much more of a technical challenge, because if it isn't designed right it will eat itself or fly apart into chunks of schrapnel. The operator views the machine through bulletproof glass if that is any indication of the potential for catastrophic failure. I spoke with the department manager on friday afternoon and he explained what they wanted me to do for them. He asked that I think about it and let the team leader know by wednesday if I wanted it.

I tried to find the team leader yesterday, but I never caught up with him. I saw him today and told him that I wanted to join his group. He responded by telling me he was glad, but they had already made their "suggestion" to the pres that I join their group. Just as well. It is nice to feel needed and appreciated for my technical expertise and experience (and my charming personality). A real plus is getting away from the depressing environment I have been in for over a year. The project managers have totally gone off the deep end. Their attitudes are de-motivational which makes it quite a challenge to simply remain self motivated enough to get the work out. I need out or I will do something I will probably live to regret.

The hope is still there. More on this later.