auslaufmodell

There is some sort of strange string bean model that is sitting a few seats away facing me and a pair of giggling turkish princesses too. I am more of a woman than all of them put together. The turkish princess right in front of me looks like she is scratching her pussy with her inch long fingernails. gross! At least when I need to scratch my pussy I have enough sense to go to the bathroom.

Well I survived my surgery and all is healing as well as can be expected. I didn’t manage to totally quit smoking unfortunately. I’m a bit disappointed with myself that I wasn’t able to do it. I at least didn’t smoke at all while I was in the hospital, and I didn’t start again until several days after coming home. I have noticed that I have reduced the daily amount that I smoke relative to how much I used to smoke. I do still want to try to quit totally. I should plan it and stick with it. I feel somehow that the next time will be easier. I have to want not to smoke anymore for it to work.

I’m sitting here writing this on the ICE going to meet my love in Amsterdam for the weekend. I have a job interview tomorrow in Rotterdam. I decided to make it worth my while by traveling stressed tonight, since they wanted me to come earlier than if I traveled tomorrow. My only hope is that it turns out to be more than just a possibility, and perhaps lead to something real.

I am skeptical that I will ever find a new job because of my transsexuality. In a perfect world I would be evaluated based on my experience and expertise, and not on my gender expression. I am expecting it to take a long time until I eventually find a company that is willing to take the perceived risk to hire me. I just hope it is a job that I actually want. My main priority right now is to make sure that I continue to heal well and then the job search comes secondary. I want to move to the Netherlands to be closer to my gnun. I love her so much. I just hope I can stand the dutchies though.

I had a telephone interview for a job in Switzerland to be an onsite engineer for an American company that has partnered with a Swiss company to provide them with manufacturing capacity. The Swiss company develops and produces photovoltaic material for solar collectors. I spoke with people from their office in Plano Texas. The interview lasted for a full hour and I was able to satisfactorily answer all of their questions. I had a good feeling afterwards, but I have not heard anything from them or the headhunter that set all of it up. They even subjected me to two online psychological evaluations. Some of the questions were relatively insulting; such as “did you ever steal as a child?” and the last question on the last one was “some of my answers on this questionnaire are not 100% honest.” I think tests or evaluations like that are total bullshit, but one must endure some ridiculous things to get a job these days. The problem with this one is that the position in Switzerland will only last from 12 to 18 months, and then I would have to move to either their office in Austria or Czech Republic. Also there may be some resistance to give up information so that I would be able to perform my duties. I would be the engineering middle(wo)man between the Swiss and the Americans. They are expecting that the partnership will generate 350 to 400 million dollars worth of revenue for them. The manufacturing plant is in Singapore, which I am not so crazy about being a part of the exploitation of cheap labor. I’m not sure about this one. I will probably receive some feedback in the next couple of days.

The interview tomorrow is for a staffing firm that provides bodies for offshore, maritime, and tunnel boring companies. They are interested in me because of my international and German experience. I will be meeting with one man and one woman tomorrow at their office in rottingdam at ten a.m. I really hope that it turns out to be worth my effort to meet them when they wanted and for the amount of time they requested. I hope I am not met with disappointment like I was at a couple of other interviews in the Netherlands. I will try to put my best face forward and hope for the best and act as if I don’t need their job. In reality I don’t because I am still gainfully employed, for the moment anyway. If it comes down to a discussion about my gender, I hope it stays on a professional level. If it turns ugly I will just thank them for their time and take my leave of them. I will not let anyone disrespect me and sit there and take it.

I have been taking on much more responsibility at work these days because I agreed to be the replacement for my supervisor when he is not in the office for whatever reason. I have also temporarily taken over the responsibility for moving a project further while Helmi is sick. The schedule is quickly running away on us and I have to hit it hard on Monday when I am back in the office. I am able to deal with the stress ok so far, and thankfully I only have three more weeks and then I am off for five weeks again. I am really looking forward to enjoying myself over those weeks. I am sure that I will be ready for a break when I reach that point, if this first week back at work is any indication of how the rest will go.

I have my six week examination on this coming Monday, even though it will have been seven weeks since surgery. I am very happy with the results of my surgery, even though I was a bit disappointed at first. I think that the lack of hormones had a very serious effect on my perception of things.